Kelly rapped on Mary Jane’s open door with her knuckles and said, “Knock, knock”. MJ was seated at her desk, puffing on her e-cigarette and frowning at her laptop screen. Without looking up, she said, “Come in, beautiful.” Kelly closed the door behind her, crossed the room and sat opposite MJ who continued to frown at her screen. Mary Jane was shaking her head. “I can’t believe the shit employees are talking about us in Glassdoor. Listen to this, ‘the CFO doesn’t know any of our names. He walks right by without even nodding like we’re not even there’. Or this, ‘no one knows what the hell is going on. The President never holds town hall meetings or even sends email updates. I drag myself in here everyday – for what?’. Okay, and this is the absolute best of the bunch, ‘when I started working here nine years ago, I told everyone I knew – strangers even – that I worked for Pyrotech. Now, I tell people I’m a waitress’.” Kelly listened with a degree of satisfaction. She knew that in a few days, employee morale would be through the roof. “That really sucks,” Kelly said. “But, MJ, it’s not on you.” “But, I’m the fucking VP of fucking HR. I’m supposed to make this a place that’s fun to work and that our people take pride in.” “Weren’t those comments about the CFO and the President?” Mary Jane glanced at her screen then looked up at Kelly and with widened eyes nodded comically. “Oh my, what a coincidence.” “You see? It’s Robert and Linda. It doesn’t matter what you do to make this a better place for our people. Those two will block you at every turn.” Mary Jane closed the screen on her laptop. “That’s about all I can take for the time being.” She took a deep breath and smiled at Kelly. “So, what’s up with you, toots?” A sly smile spread across Kelly’s face. “Well, as a matter of fact, I have something kind of awesome to tell you.” MJ sprawled back in her chair and smiled. “You mean about you and Steve?” Kelly started. She had something completely different to tell Mary Jane and hadn’t expected this. “Umm…” Mary Jane laughed. “Come on, really Kelly? Did you think you were getting away with something? For the last two months, you’ve been smiling like a fisherman’s cat, and that can only mean one thing…and every time Steve’s around you moon at him like a teenage girl.” She sat forward, reached across the desk and took one of Kelly’s hands. “I’m happy for you, sweetie. When two wonderful people find each other, it kind of makes everything else seem a little better.” Kelly sighed. “I don’t know why I thought I could keep anything from you and Judy.” She released Kelly’s hand and sat back in her chair. “I knew you’d tell me when you were ready.” Well now both Judy and MJ know, Kelly thought. Or, rather, they’d both known almost as soon as she had herself. Who was she kidding? She laughed, and Mary Jane joined her. But, that’s not what she’d come to tell Mary Jane. “Actually, MJ, I guess I have two things to tell you.” Mary Jane looked at Kelly quizzically – then her jaw gaped open and she gasped. “Two? You have two men?” “MJ, no, that’s not--“ Mary Jane’s jaw gaped wider and she gasped again. “Mike! You’re getting it on with Steve and Mike!” “MJ— “ “Oh, you big slut!” Then her mouth gaped open again and she gasped a third time. “At the same time?” Kelly knew it would be hopeless to try to shut down MJ’s train of thought, so she just let it run its course. “For Chrissakes, Kelly, could you leave a few men for the rest of us? Okay, details please. Who does what, where?” Kelly sat smiling and shaking her head. When it seemed like Mary Jane paused for breath, she said, “It’s just Steve, MJ. I can only handle one man at a time, and Steve’s all I can handle.” Mary Jane’s face fell. “Oh, man…” Kelly’s brow knit. “Wait a minute, 10 seconds ago you were on my case for hogging all the men, and now you’re disappointed?” “I was just forming an image of you in bed with Steve and Mike, and now you’ve ruined it – vicarious sex is my favourite kind.” Kelly tried to process all of this. “Gee, sorry, MJ…” “Aw, forget it. Besides, the image of just you and Steve isn’t too shabby either.” “Mary Jane!” “Alright, alright, I’ll go to confession…possibly. Father Timothy loves this kind of shit. Vicarious sex is his favourite kind too.” Laughing, Kelly said, “Jesus, MJ— “ “That’s exactly what he says.” Mary Jane picked up her e-cig and took a deep drag, then blew a plume of nicotinic steam into the air, away from Kelly. “That’s better. Okay, you said there were two things – and the second thing doesn’t involve Mike.” “Don’t get me wrong, MJ, Mike’s a great guy. I love him – as a friend – but there’s no romantic connection.” “Not for you – he’d give his right ass cheek to hold your hand.” Kelly laughed. Where did MJ come up with this stuff? “Hopefully, it won’t come to that. Now be honest, you agree with me – Mike’s a great guy.” “That post-adolescent playboy? Please.” Kelly gave her some skeptical side-eye. “Okay, he’s a great guy. But, for the record, he’s a post-adolescent playboy.” “Duly noted. Now can I tell you the other thing.” “I’m all ears.” The gratification of anticipating Mary Jane’s reaction made Kelly pause for a moment while she savoured it. Mary Jane shrugged and lifted her hands, palms up in a gesture that said, ‘well?’. Kelly began to talk, slowly and evenly, building to a crescendo. “Athena is completely finished, with all its daring, stunning, spectacular features developed, tested and ready to go, in full production, and all set to launch and ship in volume in September.” Kelly paused. “And, we have evidence that Robert Bokitis and Linda Hines have been deliberately trying to derail Athena so the Pyrotech share price goes into freefall and they can make a fortune short selling the stock.” It was clear from Mary Jane’s face that she was genuinely and thoroughly stunned. “No. Fucking. Way.” Kelly nodded. “Every word I just said is true.” She spent the next fifteen minutes taking Mary Jane through everything. When Kelly was about half-way through, MJ blurted out, “Whoa! That was your ass in the photocopy?” She gave Kelly an appraising look. “I’m finding out all kinds of things about people I thought I knew.” Blushing, Kelly brushed that aside and went on to explain how they found the documents in the photocopy memory (which she realized she could have done without the detail of her photocopied bottom) and eventually figured out what Robert and Linda were doing. When she was finished, Mary Jane slumped back in her chair. “Wow. Jesus H. Murphy, wow. That sneaky little prick. I could rip his fucking face off. And Linda? Who knew she had it in her? I always assumed she had vital signs – pulse and respiration, or, at least, one or the other – but, I never would have believed she had the initiative for something like this.” “It’s actually quite catty to say this, but Linda couldn’t have done this alone. She needed Robert.” “Well, they’re quite a pair.” “You know, the funny thing is, I get the sense that they don’t really even like each other.” “I guess the one thing they have in common is the love of money, no matter what they have to do to get it.” Kelly looked thoughtful. “What puzzles me is why Linda would feel she needs to take this kind of risk. I know she lost a bundle from back when the stock was riding high. But, even at today’s share price, she’s still worth millions.” “Some people are never satisfied with what they have.” Mary Jane sat up. “Okay, what do you need me to do?” “Well,” Kelly said. “This Friday, with the official launch on Monday, here’s what we’re going to do.” Mary Jane sat and listened, with a smile spreading across her face.